Here it is this happy moment when you realize that the course of treatment will be over soon. I was given the final date. It is worth summarizing:
Finding out that you're sick is a shock. "Nothing hurts! And there are no symptoms! There’s been a mistake, for sure!" It's terrifying to think what they will say at work. Already in the hospital you realize that you’ve bought a one-way ticket, and you’ll be back in 2 years. If you want to test yourself for strength, that’s definitely for you.
I remember, I dreamt of seeing my mother (she was away). I prayed so that could see her, have time to take her by the hand. To be discharged? Tomorrow? Who is this? Dad. I raised my head and, to be sure, poked a finger into the blurred image. There are few places, many patients. How colorful it is in the apartment! It's cozy!
For another year, going to the day hospital, I carried a piece of paper with me: ‘who I am, my address, telephone number for communication’. But everyone tolerates the 4th regimen treatment (2nd line drugs) differently. So some patients already a couple of months after the start of the treatment were able to resume work.
But I because of poor tolerance could not return to the work I LOVED to join my colleagues and friends even on the 16th month of treatment. But it’s not interesting to live thinking only about the finish line. When it became better, I would start working at the computer. Minutes added up to form days. So one blog entry after another appeared.
Sick people are still people, and they still want to live, to work, to love; many of them have children who need to be fed and brought up. As you already understood, everyone can get sick. Nobody is insured. I want to say that even if Bill and Melinda Gates came to me and offered a super job 1000 times better than the previous one, I, like many other patients, could not work. Because you forget and confuse the words, your skin becomes covered with crusts and itches, you can hardly sit because of pain in the joints, you’re weary, the heart skips, every minute you feel like throwing up. This condition continues day after day, not for a week, not for a month, or even for a year.
How to survive? How to pay for housing and communal services and for the use of a dwelling? How to buy food? It is necessary to eat, even if you do not want to, you need to. Where should you go? Social protection - to get assistance you need to be registered at the employment exchange for 3 months? Employment exchange – work beyond sick person’s strength. Disability commission – a refusal... As I was explained, disability is only given to those TB patients in whom this disease progresses. In other words, if the treatment regimen is chosen incorrectly, you’d get it. And if it is correct chosen, then with other diseases you can file documents with another disability commission in a polyclinic at the place of residence. Good. How to measure weariness and hallucinations? What to do if your joints are about to explode, but your uric acid levels are normal? What test you should have to find out is nausea strong enough or you are just a little queasy? I can assure you the nausea is strong. In this condition a person takes leave at his own expense and stays at home. When you have a food poisoning try to remember what I just wrote, and then go to work, for the sake of experiment, go. And better run, because a person who’s being treated for "modern" tuberculosis, takes a handful of toxins every day - the load on the body is massive. Many patients are faced with a choice: work or treatment - and often they refuse treatment to be able to earn, thus becoming a potential source of infection, that is, on the one hand, they are not infectious, but on the other hand, without taking medication, they can become infectious again. Patients have to agree to any one-time work, and often this implies contact with healthy people.
People, save money, God forbid, of course, and help someone, so that someone helps you too.
During my treatment course, Doctors Without Borders were next to me. How many times have I seen cheerful eyes of patients leaving the counsellor’s room. It's hard to imagine that once they were not here...
It will never be the same as before. Now everything will be different. If you get TB this is a signal from your body. And this means that after you have heard yourself and corrected mistakes you will be fine, even better than many others. Hurry to change the former way of life, throw away the past as if this were worn gloves, unnecessary ballast, live your life with a light heart. You shouldn’t become rooted to habits that are pulling you down. Vacant clean place will be taken by something new and incredibly nice. He who lifts his head will see the sky. When we are happy, we grow wings! In this state of mind the body is always healthy.
I know that You will become stronger, you will be able to stand this; this is a very difficult period, but it will pass, and there are many more happy and healthy years ahead. It will never be the same as before.
* The song says that Everything is yet to come. The south wind will blow. Sadness will go away. All the bad things will be erased from memory. You will meet a lot of interesting people. Trains, planes, ships continue their journey after stopping. Everything is yet to come. Cultivate happiness. It wants to rejoice. I won’t lock it. It has wings. Are you flying away? Fly. Think how we celebrate the encounter.