When my family ran away, I really felt completely…well, I don’t know what kind of life I’m in for. My children used to come here and see me. They used to come here and why I couldn’t help them. Even the soap, a small piece soap for washing and for washing clothes, I don’t have the capacity to give.
I don’t have capacity to pay for the children’s school. I always thought in my future,I would pay for the children’s school so they would have a very good profession, but now, it is the opposite.
The two wives that I had before, both have gone. One has a new husband. The other one is just moving around, she doesn’t have a husband.
So, how can I make it? It’s better for me not to be alive. I really don’t want to have to see my children suffering, this is a very painful thing. It is something I think about a lot at night. I think and I think… But I don’t have the answer for it. My only hope is for my other wife, who has no new husband right now and is moving around... If I get cured and if she really accepts my word, I can bring her home and we can stay together with the children. That is the only plan that I have.
I also worry that my children are suffering the way I suffered when I was young. I was not together with my parents. Now this thing is also happening to my children. They are not with me, their father, they are just scattered.
I was a very powerful businessman before. Much as I’m not well educated, I earnt good money. Those who gave me advice, gave me bad advice, not to open an account and save my money. Otherwise right now, I would have at least some money in my account. My business was doing well, better than those of people who were educated, who have certificates. I don’t have any certificates, only a low level of education, but at least I was doing something.
What I have in mind is that if I get cured, I will go back to my business of butchery and then selling clothes. Or I might go and study driving school. Then if I get a certificate, I can get a job, maybe driving a vehicle for a rich person. Even if he pays me only 50,000 shillings, that’s ok for me. I can live my life, I can pay for the children’s school, I would be happy. That is what I have in mind.