Do I remember my family’s reaction during the worst phase of my disease? Of course I remember and will remember those days forever. It was very difficult for my wife to hear and know that I would die. I remember she was trying not to show me her tears. She was thinking how she will bring up our children without me…. She was isolated from the real world and roaming in her own world of thoughts.
When I was in Osh TB Hospital my TB result was MDR-TB but I wasn’t informed about that. Time passed and everything had changed. I was able to get treatment in an MSF TB Project which gave me a hope, a new wing, to feel that I have a chance TO LIVE.
During my treatment I was given a chance to appear on TV and I gave a speech. My relatives watched this TV program and they were shocked seeing my healthy condition, seeing that I am recovering well.
I have 5 children and only 2 of them (elder ones) could understand the situation and also my wife. All the time they were psychologically supporting me. Saying I should not think about my disease and to believe that one day I can get better. They were caring about me. My youngest daughter is 4 years old. She, together with her mom was praying for me all the time, in the morning, afternoon, all the time. And her sister at that time decided that in future she will be a doctor helping the patients like me. And three of my elder sons told me not to worry about them. They will work and will build me a big house and will buy a nice car. All the time they made me think about good things.
And about me. Yes. I lost all hope to live. The only thing I was thinking about was the future of my children and my wife. I always tell my children to continue their education, to respect people they are living with in this world. And all the time I reminded them that the future is in their hands and they have to use each moment of their life for doing good things. I knew that my life is in the hands of God. And was sure that only God knows what will happen with me.
All the time my children were with me, giving me their best care that they could give. As for my relatives…., this period for me was a kind of test to understand who is who. From the time they heard about my TB their relationship with me and with my family changed rapidly. They preferred to avoid any contact with me. They were even telling my wife to send me to live in far prairies in order not to infect the people around me. They were sure that I would die soon. But now they are shy. Really, very shy.
Now I am joining to my relatives, going to their wedding parties. Everything is coming back thank God, my MSF doctors and my caregivers who are my 5 children, my 5 children, who made me believe that I will get cured. My eldest son started working in field driving the tractor. He was the person who really pleased me and made me sure he will take care of our family during my treatment in hospital. My second son worked in a stable of our relatives. He was also trying to help my wife to feed the family. And my third son, he is very young but he also wanted to somehow help his mom and he was helping her in housework. He was riding our donkey in order to bring water or to bring some wood for heating the oven.
Me with my wife and children © MSF
And the last 2 kids are my daughters. They are very nice, I love them a lot. My elder daughter was taking care of her sister. She read her tales, taught her how to write. Anyway she was a little nanny of a little girl. Seeing my family fighting with my illness and trying to do everything in order to help pushed me to be sure that I have a strong and friendly family. I am proud of my wife and my children.
I want to wish all people who have TB or any kind of disease not to lose their hopes. To continue dreaming of good and happy life and to be sure that one day DREAMS COME TRUE. I was ill. Now I am better. I needed hope. MSF gifted me. I want to live and I am living.