As I mentioned in my last entry, I began my treatment again. It was very difficult as I had a big fear, but this time it was different – I had an inner belief that I could really do it.
So I began taking my drugs like it was the first time. I had persuaded myself to struggle, and every day I was proud and praised myself for my strength after taking the medication.
Following this ‘new start’, I had very interesting and constructive ideas which inspired me. During my time in hospital, I spent my time writing down my thoughts in a notebook and imagining all my dreams and hopes realized. It was such a pleasure to imagine my ideas as a future reality. I was writing down what I wanted to do and thinking of all the steps I would need to take later on.
Completing treatment was first place on that list and every night when going to bed I looked in the mirror and thanked the Mariam I could see for overcoming one more day.
I was feeling stronger day by day, as I began to understand that I could fully control and lead myself towards a better place. I don’t want to talk again about the side effects of the drugs and difficulties I had during this time, as in this phase my achievements are now more tangible and pleasant to me. I even began to miss being in my room, working on my computer.
Finally the last day of my successful return to treatment arrived: I passed the 2-month hospitalization phase. It was not the first time for me to be discharged from hospital, but it was the first time that I was sure this was my last hospitalization. I said goodbye to my friends in hospital and the medical staff. I was very happy and sure that a series of further successes was ahead of me.
I returned to my classes in university to continue my education. I was in my 4th year of studies and it was time to choose a topic to research for my graduate work. I immediately made up my mind to study the psychological conditions of TB patients during their time with the disease and decided to do my research in the same hospital where I had been hospitalized. I was working only with regular TB patients and it was very interesting to interview them. I can hardly describe my feelings walking by the patient rooms wearing a white medical uniform…
My working day started with greeting all the patients and asking them about their health. The patients would say that they were looking forward to seeing me. When I noticed that some of them were desperate I told them that I had gone through the whole ordeal myself. They did not believe me. I even remember a woman saying happily to me that if I had TB and was recovering now, then nothing would stop her.
It was a big responsibility for me to do that graduate work. In the end, all my effort and hopes were justified - I got an excellent mark. I graduated from the university and applied for a Master’s degree. Success upon success continued in my life, which I am sure reflected the achievements I made with my treatment.
I began leading an active social life – charity work, activities, classes, feeling healthier and enjoying each and every day. Speaking out and talking about TB became a welcome responsibility for me.