I am starting to see how I might survive. It comes in little flashes, small epiphanies throughout the day. When I first arrived in Lankien, I seriously questioned whether I would make it to the end of my contract. 9 months seemed like a very long time. I wasn't sure I could do it. And even now I feel this way, but not all of the time. One MSF volunteer compared this mission to a marathon: you must pace yourself, drink plenty of water, and hope that you don't hit "the wall" too hard.
Occasionally now I feel quite light. For example last night, I tucked myself into my outdoor bed under a perfect African night sky and for a brief moment I felt.. well.. deliriously happy! Imagine that.