Ok, so I know it's weird. And I fully accept that it is just my brain's way of distracting itself from what is really going on.
But as I prepare to leave my family, friends and home to travel thousands of miles to a place that could potentially become a violent conflict zone, to do a job that is significantly out of my comfort area and live with people I've never met and know nothing about, the one and only thing that I'm worried about is...the size of my bag.
I mean, 20 kilos - that's nothing!! How am I supposed to fit everything in?!?
It is probably pertinent to add that I am the world's worst packer.
I have been known to take 23kg plus hand luggage when I'm only away for a weekend - and that's happened on more than one occasion. So 20kg for six months will be the first of many challenges.
It's not that I'm particularly materialistic or care that much about 'stuff'. It's just that I can't help but think about every possibility, and want to be prepared.
What if I get a blister and it's too painful to walk? (*blister plasters go into bag*)
What if they have unexpected weather extremes? (*in go wellies and a scarf*)
What if I feel really homesick? (*Photo album gets stuffed down the side*)
What if I'm really stressed and need to relax? (*scented candle gets tucked under my t-shirts*)
What if I'm really tired and sad and the only thing that will make me feel better is a cup of tea? (Teabags, kettle, cup and travel adaptor get shoved on top of already huge pile*)
What if there's no milk?!?!? (Powdered milk hastily bought and added)....
I have less than a week until I leave.... Wish me luck!!!!