To blog or Not to blog, with apologies to Shakespeare.
MSF offers assistance to populations in distress, to victims of natural or man-made disasters and to victims of armed conflict, irrespective of race, religion, creed or political affiliation
I have now been ‘in the field’, in the brand new and struggling country of South Sudan, for three months.
My original mandate was to work in an extremely remote area, accessible only by plane (or by helicopter in the rainy season if the landing strip was under water), treating an outbreak of Kala Azar. This is a fatal disease that is particularly vicious, often contracted by young boys while they are out guarding the cattle, from a sand fly that lives in the dark soil of South Sudan. Children are particularly affected and all will die without treatment. My original contract was to work primarily treating Kala Azar, but as I am learning with MSF, flexibility is a crucial requirement.
During the past three months there was often no internet, sometimes limited or no electricity, no water coming out of the tap, and some very unusual circumstances had me hungry at times. That is another part of my story entirely. MSF did warn me that ‘ability to adapt to sudden changes’ would be an attribute I would want to cultivate.
Blogging involves putting yourself out there, in public, where what you say and how you feel becomes something not just for you, but for the world. Well, at least, for those that might be interested in learning more about humanitarian work, and the intricacies and foibles of it. The motivation behind it. The struggle of it. The indecision that is part of the package. The loneliness and the familyness of it.
Working with MSF is all of these things and sometimes, it seems, just too difficult to put it into words. But…. I know there is a large community out there, who would like to know how it is. Who might be interested in considering a volunteer position somewhere, sometime; challenging themselves to do something out of the ordinary, for a purpose larger than yourself. I think there is interest from those who would like to know how it really is, before they take the leap. What does it really feel like? Away from home, away from family, away from lovers, away from all that is known and understood and easily comprehensible. To take that leap into the unknown, the unfamiliar, the totally absurd, the dangerous and the terrifying and the incredible camaraderie and the fun of the dance parties. It does feel incomprehensible at times, for sure. I also think, that if you donate your money to an NGO (Non Governmental Organization) like MSF (even if you know it will never be possible for you to go “to the field”) that you would like to know what your donation accomplishes, and have an inside look at the organization. How do we utilize your financial contribution to our work? Are we responsible, and do we try to do the best we can with what you give us?
I am now on leave, having completed a very tumultuous three months, transferred about to many different places, with nowhere to call home, with no space to call my own, where I didn’t have my own room, (except for 3 weeks in a tent), and then, I got sick. Really very sick. I was urgently medevac’d (medical evacuation) (MSF loves short forms and abbreviations: PC, MedCo, PPD, Logtech, Finco, slowly you sort them out). Wearing only my pyjamas and with nothing but my passport and MSF ID, I was flown out of South Sudan in my very own plane, to Nairobi Hospital. I was flown to amazing medical care that has allowed me to be well again and to look forward to the future. MSF certainly comes through in the crunch, when you really need them to look after you. I am now able to take my well earned vacation to the beach (where I now have the energy and the time and the inclination to type this); to a place where I can consider, perhaps, I have a story worth sharing. It’s hard to know. So many questions and so much is unknown. I have learned that what I think, is not. What I expected, I shouldn’t. What was obvious is confusing, and what I thought I knew, I certainly don’t. Despite having much experience in Africa previously, it is still a very steep learning curve.
Perhaps you can come with me on this journey. But first, we will have to go back. Way back to how a woman with grown children and a perfectly lovely boyfriend found herself making the decision to leave it all behind. That, certainly, was the hardest part.
hi Lorna, after just reading your first blog and inadvertantly making two comments I have read your second blog. I am so glad you are recovering. You are right, blogging does put yourself out there, and it is hard to put into words what you are feeling. However, I think it is also part of the growing process and helps you to put in order some of the emotions that you are experiencing. It will also give you a sense of achievement when you look back over your blogs in the future. Stay safe and well and I am looking forward to hearing more. di
Several years ago I dedicated one week in the salon to raising money for Doctors Without Borders. Everything I ever read about resonated with caring and fairness. With a check for $1000 I began calling and asking for the address to send it to. The woman on the phone explained to me that Doctors without Borders had been so blessed with donations in the recent months that all of their projects had been funded for the forseeable future. She asked that I donate to another cause where it could be put to use immediately. I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED THIS- and have never stopped talking about how impressed I am with this organization. I pray for all involved and for the orgnization that you have leadership and volunteerism to blow the roof off and always continue your awesome work.
Hi Lorna,
I have read your 2 posts and will avidly follow your future adventures. Glad to hear your are better. It is people like you that make our world better. While fully appreciating that there is evil on this earth, I choose to believe that most humans only want to do their best and you are certainly reinforcing that belief. Also, thank you for your candor about your journey to becoming an MSF volunteer. You are one gutsy lady ! Hope to follow in your footsteps one day ( if only a fraction ) and make a difference in the lives of our fellow humans in need ( I am a NICU RN ). I will most likely start out with short term missions through my hospital and hopefully build up my nerve to apply to MSF. In the meantime, I wish only good things to come your way,
Nancy B
Thank you for writing! I have thought that MSF is an organization I would like to work with in the future, so I appreciate your insight. Best of luck on your future endeavors.
Thank you for sharing your experiences, emotions and reflections. A fascinating account well told; please continue to write. Hugs, R
Lorna,
I think of you every day and am happy you started this blog. What an incredible journey! We are so proud of you and love you lots. We look forward to your return so you can share all of your stories. After reading all of your comments from other people, you truly are an inspiration to everyone and I am very privileged to call you family (almost)
Love you
Linda, Denis and Sydnee
Hi Lorna,
I have mixed feelings after reading your blog:
Very sad to hear about the conditions that your patients live in, but I’m happy you are there to do what you can for them. The world is a better place because of your work.
Glad you are feeling better!
Stef
I know from personal experience the difficulty of being in a hospital bed in a foreign country, asking yourself “why you are there and why you want to go back out into the field when everyone who isn’t there is telling you to come home.” It’s a calling of the strongest souls dedicated to serving others with the gifts we have. You see your true self when you have to let others take care of you.
Remember to stay true to yourself through it all and laugh at the spiders on the wall or in your bed!
How interesting! and how brave you are. Compassion is what is missing in many lives these days. I know that I could not do what you are doing but I am happy to hear that the contributions I make to NGOs is making a difference in the lives of both the given and the givers.
Thank you
Lorna,
I work in the healthcare field in the US and will take this journey with you. Not in a place in life where I can volunteer, but admire all that you do. Yes, it must be hard, but your stories and how you touch people will be shared with the world when you blog. Look forward to hearing more about your early experience and the adjustment. I have lived overseas and any place requires adjustment, much less the type of work that you are doing. Wishing you the very best.
JML
Thanks for sharing… as older Peace Corps volunteers 10 years ago we relate to you and your situation and are glad to read what is being done. We have contributed to MSF for years, blindly because we know what you all do and support you fully. We look forward to your blogs and thank you for exposing yourself. That is very brave. We hope to return to volunteer capacity shortly… you can never know how the rest of the world lives until you live with them and share their days. Good luck to you and thank you for what you do.
We love you Lorna. Thanks.
hello,
i spent almost 5 weeks in port harcort nigeria last year on my first mission as a surgeon. difficult but extremely satisfying and rewarding, i’m planning my next trip this fall. hang in there and relish your hard work , sacrifices and givings.
haiku –
deeply touching souls,
every corner of the world,
with your simple words.
Well done you taking on such challenging and eventually rewarding work I am particularly interested as my Father worked for the Sudan government way back in the 1920`s -was Director of Pay and Records and its wonderful to know that there are people like you helping the country. Would that I was young enough to do the same . All best wishes Penelope ( circa 1931 ! )
Hi Lorna,
I would like to hear more about your endevours.
I am a Scotsman who used to live in Uganda, so am always fascinated to hear others story of Africa.
I dont share your profession, but im curious to know how Africa and Africans seems to you, on a human level, because Africa is amazing.
I have travelled far and wide but its Africa that tests me and bends me in all kinds of unusual directions. The people are quite amazing!
Looking forward to reading more.
Good Luck.
Lorna,
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I am really excited to read more about your time and the impact you made with MSF. Stories are important to share. We all see the numbers but they don’t have the same effect that stories do. I encourage you, even if it is difficult to share as many stories as you can.
It’s the stories that make me want to support MSF even more.
Tim
I am VERY glad you are writing about your experience! Keep it up! I read all that I can, and love being transported to where you are.
Hello,
Thank you so very much for making the decision to blog. I’m really looking forward to hearing more of what you have to say. I’m currently completing my first year in medical school for the very purpose of doing what you are doing now. It’s scary and exciting, and I’m not sure what to expect. It is about a calling to live a life of purpose and greater meaning, but there is always that fear that it won’t pan out. Or that I won’t find the courage to make it. Even from reading your first blog here, it’s already motivating me to continue onward. So thanks again, and I wish you the best!
Bonsoir docteur. ou’ Bonsoir Lorna si je puis m’adresser à vous de cette facon.
j’ai lu votre article, trés intéressant d’ailleur.
je suis l’actualité de msf depuis quelques temps,permettez moi de vous feliciter pour ce que vous faites j’ai une grande admiration pour ce combat? que vous menez, Je m’adresse aussi ici à toute l’équipe de msf
si vous etes d’accords j’aimerais suivre votre activité et pourquoi pas, publier sur ma session.
Je tiens à préciser que mes contacts sont des personnes serieuses,réceptives à ce que vous faites (tous) certains sont assez engagés envers cette cause.
mes respects à tous.
cordialement Ludovic ……
(france: localité: alpes maritime. ville: Cannes…..
Wow, I really love your honesty, and I so look forward to hearing more about your experiences Lorna. You’re a very good writer, but for me, it’s more about the honesty of what you are saying. You are a brave person and I think I can learn something about how to be brave through reading your posts. I hope this finds you well and happy.
Thank you for sharing! I am a medical student trying to groom herself for MSF and other International medical work. From a practical standpoint, it is good to know what skills I must develop. More importantly, I thank you for sharing your trials, troubles, and hesitations about working in such a harsh climate. It is easy for someone like myself to imagine all of the beauty that would come from such a challenge to help people in need…it is more difficult to view the difficulties with objectivity when you are so optimistic. I will never stray from my goal, but thank you for helping me understand what my life will be like. Also, thank you for your work and dedication. You are truly inspirational. Be safe and take care.
Christine,
If i may respond to your comment: you won’t regret it!
For sure, you have to be ready mentally and physically, but its WELL worth of the sacrifice we make for the gains we earn throughout!
About the sicknesses, do not worry! Even though they are present, you don’t have to become ill! Just know enough about prevention, precaution and keep a positive mind! I have been in the field for over 2 years and not counting the digestive bugs, i haven’t been sick even once.
Good luck!
good job mam…keep up the noble deed…
I love that you made the decision to write. I think many people – donors and concerned citizens alike – benefit from the words of those “in the field.” Thanks for sharing your perspective and bringing some new ideas to the conversation. I hope you are feeling much better and enjoy your time away.
Hey Lorna,
thanks for sharing this philosophical internal discussion with the wide world. I would like to leave you only few lines: i can relate to your story in some ways, my first mission was also incredibly hard and challenging and i had questioned many things as a result about my life.
One thing you should keep in mind, even though it’s not obvious at the present moment, you are at the right place in the right time. Yes, we do choose the harder way, than others, but we also grow 10 times more than others thanks to these challenges and bumpy roads.
You will get the confirmation of this, when you see a gratitude and a smile on the face of the child’s mom, that you just saved, when your assistant bring you a piece of a “home specialty” for you to taste, or when (without noticing) you grow to appreciate the beauty of even the poorest land of the earth.
Wish you courage, and a great continuation!
Thank you for sharing your story! I am a 41 year old mother of 1 that is seriously thinking about working in Africa when my son is older. I’d love to hear whatever you want to share about your story. My biggest fear is getting very sick with one of the diseases they have in Africa but not in America. I’m sorry you got sick and am glad you are doing better.
I really look forward to hearing about your experiences.